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Experiences

(Re)Discovery 1: Friendship

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.”
C. S. Lewis

(Re)Discovering friends will never cease to amaze me.
Do you still remember your best friend(s) from school? Can you picture how your friendship could look like now, (many) years later? Perhaps you can’t, or perhaps they are still your best friends. But what is certain is that you all have changed over time and (re)discovered your friendship in different ways.

I completely lost touch with my best friend from high school. Our paths simply went into different directions after we entered university and we never heard from each other again. It seems a natural process to me and I didn’t really think about it so much.

It was not until 3 years ago when I met Eli, a school mate of mine I had not seen for more than 10 years, that I was reminded of my high school friends. Eli and I weren’t close friends in our teenage years. We neither spent much time together nor seemed to have too much in common back then (or at least we never had the chance to look into any possible common ground for friendship).
To our surprise, this reunion made a huge difference to both of us. We (suddenly) had so much to share that we spent hours and hours talking, laughing, telling stories… Stories about our experience living abroad, our culture, our surprisingly similar or complementary attitudes, our struggles and moments of serendipity. It seemed the right time had come to (re)discover our friendship which is now a continuous source of inspiration, understanding, trust, meaning.

Eli and Irina, June 2013

Did you have the chance to (re)discover ‘old’ or ‘new’ friendships?

“The language of friendship is not words but meanings.”
Henry David Thoreau

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About irinapashina

Marketing professional, blogger, group fitness instructor, reader, theater-goer

Discussion

4 thoughts on “(Re)Discovery 1: Friendship

  1. Great post Irina… I think also that this is the reason why social channels like Facebook became so popular. It is amazing to discover what people from your past are up to and re-connect. I am amazed to be able to follow friends from school, who got children (and who look like them by the way!), and we can simply discuss despite the distance and the fact that we had no contact for more than 10 or 15 years….

    Posted by Mélanie | July 18, 2013, 11:44 pm
    • Thanks Mélanie!
      Looking at my Facebook profile, it’s amazing to see friends from (almost) all stages of my life and countries I lived in… Re-connecting with people from our past has never been easier indeed (at least with the ones using social media :-)).

      Posted by irinapashina | July 19, 2013, 8:03 pm
  2. My perspective –
    In many cases, friendships are related to time lines. I’ve been arguing with myself for a long time about this. Why is it that I move a few hundred kilometers to the South and (with a single exception) am now disconnected from anyone I knew? Why is that? And need I be concerned about it? Should I feel bad? Clearly, to me, the answer is NO, because it looks like the bond wasn’t strong enough after all. And that’s okay then. I enjoyed my life having friends A, B, C, living in X for so and so many years. But that’s history now to me. And you know what? I am going one step further. I don’t want to reconnect with any of them on Facebook (or elsewhere). I’m just not that interested in it. And more importantly – I do enjoy the present so much that I feel no need to look at the past.

    The single exception I mentioned shows me that friendship can be persistent over many years, even if there is a geographical distance in-between. But it requires effort and the motivation to maintain that friendship needs to be very intrinsic, I feel.

    Posted by Lars | July 20, 2013, 1:02 pm
    • Lars ji,

      I agree that friendships are often related to time and even places where we are at. I’ve lost touch with many good friends throughout the years. My point was not that I necessarily want to reconnect with ‘old’ friends and revive the friendships (which would often not be possible at all). It was the discovery that reconnecting can actually bring about much stronger a bond than it ever existed.
      Indeed, friendship can last over many years only if a common ground and the necessary intrinsic motivation to maintain it are present.

      Posted by irinapashina | July 21, 2013, 12:03 am

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